We at the Markowski Monthly in our endless quest to create wholesome family entertainment have decided to issue an updated version of the board game Clue. In our brand new modern version of this classic board game you must use the clues available to figure out who created the fraudulent Texas Air National Guard memos, […]
John Kerry penned an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal this past month and said this… “I would promote private-sector innovation policies, including the elimination of capital gains for long–term investments in small business start-ups.” How does a start-up have long-term capital gains? If anyone can make sense out of this statement, please let […]
The World Bank issued a report this past month that showed an ever widening gap between rich and poor nations on the quality of businesses regulation. The report found that New Zealand, followed closely by the United States were the easiest to start and operate businesses. Of the 20 countries where ridiculous and excessive regulation […]
The United Nations turned down a request from nine members of the U.S. Congress to assign international observers to the U.S. Presidential Election. The request came in letterform drafted by Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson (D) – Texas and signed by eight other members of the House. I cannot recall a time where I was so […]
Rock star, actress, and all around dirtbag Courtney Love knows who is to blame for her numerous problems…President Bush! This past year Courtney has gone broke, been arrested for causing a disturbance on an airplane, been arrested for drugs, lost her daughter, and almost killed a fan at a concert by throwing a microphone stand […]
Are professional baseball ticket prices driving you nuts? Well they are about to go up again. An appeals court in Newark, New Jersey ruled that fans that get hit by foul balls could sue. I can hear the commercials already, “Are you a victim of pro-baseball negligence, have you ever been served warm beer, cold […]
I have a great idea for a new cable channel, the Cold War Channel. This station would play nothing but movies like Red Dawn, Rocky IV, Rambo, The Hunt for Red October, Missing in Action, and FireFox. In between movies we could air great speeches by Ronald Reagan and show reruns of the 1980 Olympic […]
I am starting to confuse that famous Senator from Massachusetts and now Presidential candidate with the Lord of the Rings character Gollum. In my opinion, Gollum was one of the most interesting fictional characters in film history. Gollum was a schizophrenic poor soul that was consumed by the power of his “precious” ring of power. […]
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An investment banker tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. “Not very long,” answered the fisherman. “But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the banker. The fisherman explained […]
The motivation and sheer stupidity of Hans Blix was always crystal clear to us here at the “Markowski Monthly.” This past month “Mr. Magoo” gave a classic interview on highly respected news network MTV. “I lived through the whole Cold War and the risk then, the mutually assured destruction, the “M.A.D.,” as it was called, […]