THE CHUPACABRA STRIKES
Chupacabra, Blood Sucking Mythical Beast Found in Texas
Lynn Butler, a taxidermist, says that he found the mystery creatures corpse in a chicken barn three months ago the morning after an unseen predator was heard running amuck. While its hairless, leathery body and pointed muzzle resemble a dog with severe mange, other animal experts who have inspected the corpse have suggested it may be a chupacabra, a predator first sighted in Puerto Rico in 1995. Although descriptions of chupacabras differ wildly-they are variously compared to rodents, lizards and even small bears-they tend to be distinguished by prominent fangs visible on Mr. Butler’s specimen. The name translates from the Spanish as “goat sucker” because of reports that the beasts puncture the skins of livestock with their teeth, draining them of blood.
This story, reported in the U.K. Telegraph, is not news to the Watchdog on Wall Street. We have been reporting on the Wall Street species for years. The Wall Street version differs only slightly in appearance, but rather feeds on the hard earned savings of others. It has been a long-term mission of the Watchdog on Wall Street to protect the public from the Wall Street Chupacabra. Today we will highlight some real-life examples of how the chupacabra stalks and slays its prey.
Goldman Sachs
The Wall Street Journal reported that research analyst Marc (chupacabra) Irizarry’s published rating on mutual fund manager Janus Capital Group, was “neutral” in early April 2008. But at an internal meeting that month, Irizarry told dozens of Goldman’s traders the stock would trade higher. The next day Goldman positioned itself and it’s favored hedge fund clients in the stock. The public did not get the research until six days later, after the stock had already moved 5.8%. One former client who was unaware of the practice and lost money at Goldman, stated “When I joined Goldman as a client, I got all these fancy brochures saying they put the clients first.” In reality, “I was the end of the food chain.” Goldman has become a chupacabra breeding ground over the past ten years.
Another Gold Scam
Tri-Energy’s investors had something in common. Many were Mormons and born-again Christians who shared dreams and prayers on nightly conference calls. They vowed to use the profits for charitable works and raised funds by taking out second mortgage and emptying retirement accounts. All the group needed to finish their gold purchase/sale deal was to come up with a “safe passage letter” at a cost of $450,000 and a “commission account” at a cost of $100,000. They had already raised $50,000 million from over 700 investors. The calls for money never ended, but eventually the scam did. The chupacabras made off with the money.
Divine Investment
The Securities and Exchange Commission sued a California chupacabra and his company for defrauding a church community by claiming his investment successes were an “obvious favor of God.”
The man promised investors an annual return of more than 150%. He advertised his program under the tagline, “Where Business is Moral and the Miraculous is Routine.”
Morgan Stanley at It Again
Morgan Stanley will pay the usual “parking ticketesque” fine to resolve charges that it failed to stop brokers from chomping down on Eastman Kodak and Xerox Corporation’s employee’s retirement funds. The chupacabra’s persuaded the employees to take an early retirement based on ridiculous promises of high investment returns. 184 people were victimized by this incident.
Merrill Lynch Crushes the Masons
The chupacabra’s over at Merrill Lynch were ordered to pay $39.8 million arbitration award to the Trustees of the Masonic Hall and Asylum in Utica, N.Y. (Did Dan Brown write about this?) The chupacabra’s placed the Hall’s funds in a managed futures account managed by the now defunct Refco. This was one of the largest judgments against the chupacabras ever.
Chupacabra Radio
An investment radio show that aired in Pennsylvania entitled “Money-in-Motion” was hosted by a chupacabra. He used the show as bait to lure his victims and drain them of their investments. Rather than invest the money on his clients behalf, the chupacabra used the funds for personal expenses.
Boiler Room
Sky Capital, a Wall Street/Boca Raton “investment firm” turned out to be another chupacabra boiler room. The chupacabras raised $140 million from victims in the United States and Great Britain. The head chupacabra was named Ross Mandell, who has a long and storied history of bleeding investors dry. Mandell blamed his past troubles on a cocaine habit. Sky Capital was a classic boiler room whereas they used their sales force to pump up worthless stock to get the inside chupacabra investors out. As Sky Capital was losing their clients millions, Mandell was bankrolling a lavish lifestyle of five-star hotels, first class travel to London, a decorator to doll up his lair at the Trump UN Plaza, strippers, and child care.
Prime Bank Offshore Nonsense
A pair of chupacabras convinced investors from all across the country to wire them money to be invested in another prime bank scheme. This is where the chupacabra convinces the victim that they can show some magically ridiculous return by investing the money in some European bank. This scam has been going on for years; for obvious reasons…it works. Chupacabras prowl the social scene in this case, name-drop a lot, and speak of their extensive European contacts. If European banks could show guaranteed 15% returns, do you really think it would be a secret? From the Sarasota Herald Tribune…In spring 2006, California speech pathologist, Jackie Reitzman thought she was joining a charmed inner circle when two business buddies told her about the double-digit monthly returns they could achieve, if only they could raise $10 million. “There was like this euphoria, everybody was just on a high. For some people, it was retirement. For others it was taking care of their disabled parents. They played on our dreams, hopes, and our compassion for others. We could work with billionaires, Virgin Airlines… Bill Gates.” The scam promised returns of 30% a month for the first three months. After that came 70% per month.
We at the Watchdog on Wall Street Show and Markowski Investments are experts at spotting and terminating chupacabras. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have the slightest inclination of being stalked by one.
Source Material:
Staff Chupacabra: Blood-Sucking Mythical Beast Found in Texas UK Telegraph
Pollick Michael Morgans Kept Investors at Arms Length Herald Tribune 07/18/09
Craig Susanne Goldman’s Trading Tips Reward Its Biggest Clients Wall Street Journal 08/24/09
Zambito Thomas Trader Ross Mandell Charged in $140 Stock Scam Daily News
Delazio Sheena Former Radio Host Charged with Fraud Times Leader
Kelly Bruce Merrill Socked with $39.8 Million Arbitration Ruling Investment News 04/30/09
Pollock Lauren Lucchetti Aaron Settlement For Morgan Stanley Wall Street Journal 04/26/09
Sterngold James Mormons Become Victims in $50 Million Scam to Sell Gold Bullion Bloomberg 09/01/09
Gallu Joshua SEC Sues Man for Defrauding Church Community in Ponzi Scheme Bloomberg 08/31/09
