MIGRAINE INDUCERS

Christopher MarkowskiArticle, Politics and Life0 Comments

OCTOBER 2011

With my endless show preparation I am constantly faced with statements from politicians and pundits that literally hurt my head. It is a curse that I have been stricken with, the stupidity of others causing me physical pain. If you too have been cursed with this, Stop reading now!

We Are All Racists Now.

Herman Cain’s rise in support proves that Republican’s are racist.” Our old nemesis and malcontent Janeane Garofalo delivered this insight on Keith Olberman’s new show. When the Tea Party was starting up a couple of years ago Garofalo opined that all Tea Party members and Republican’s disagree with Obama because they are racist. So her logic goes like this, If conservatives don’t support a black politician they are racist and if they do they are racist as well.

Mars Attacks.

New York Times columnist, Princeton Professor, Nobel Prize winner and left-wing loon Paul Krugman appeared on CNN with fellow Economist and Harvard Professor Kenneth Rogoff and hilarity ensued.

Rogoff: “Infrastructure spending, if it were well-spent, that’s great. I’m all for that. I’d borrow for that, assuming we’re not paying Boston Big Dig prices for the infrastructure.”

Fareed Zakaria HOST: “But even if you were, wouldn’t John Maynard Keyes say that if you could employ people to dig a ditch and then fill it up again, that’s fine, they’re being productively employed, they’d pay taxes, so maybe Boston’s Big Dig was just fine after all.”

Krugman: “Think about World War II, right? That was actually negative social product spending, and yet it brought us out. I mean, probably because you want to put these things together, if we say look we could use some inflation. Ken and I are both saying that, which is, of course anathema to a lot of people in Washington but is, in fact, what basic logic says. It’s very hard to get inflation in a depressed economy. But if you had a program of government spending, plus an expansionary policy by the Fed, you could get that. So, if you think about using all of these things together, you could accomplish, you know, a great deal. If we discovered that, you know, space aliens were planning to attack and we needed a massive buildup to counter the space alien threat and really inflation and budget deficits took secondary place to that, this slump would be over in 18 months.”

Let us start with the smartest man in the world, (just ask him) our host Fareed Zakaria! Zakaria believes that employing people to do nothing of any value whatsoever is the cure-all our economy needs. Great idea Fareed! Why doesn’t the government just give money to everyone? Using your logic, all of our problems would be solved. Noel Sheppard from Newsbusters, makes this point, “Isn’t it fascinating that a man that is always opposed to tax cuts, which is government allowing people to keep more of their money, and doesn’t think that stimulates the economy believes it would be economically stimulative to give people someone else’s money to do absolutely nothing.”

As far as Krugman is concerned…there is really no need for me to comment.

Mars Attacks Part II

Shawn Domagal-Goldman of NASA’a Planetary Science Division and his cohorts published a list of plausible outcomes that occur in the aftermath of an encounter with extraterrestrials. They warn ET’s might be frightened of us because of propensity to expand as a civilization as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilizations.

A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilization may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilizational expansion could be detected by ET’s because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth’s atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions.”

Chalk another on up for global warming! From the Cubs being unable to win a World Series to the future annihilation of humanity by ET, those greenhouse gasses can sure reek some havoc. I am not worried though…rather than stocking up on cans of tuna fish and gold bars, I have opted for Reese’s Pieces. By the way…how long do you think it will take Hollywood to turn this study into a movie?

What’s a Texas?

U.S. Labor Secretary Hilda Solis was asked this question, “Why do you think there have been so many jobs created in the last decade in Texas?” Solis laughed and replied, “Come again.” The question was rephrased, “The Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas estimates about half of the jobs created in the U.S. in the last decade have been created in Texas. Why do you think that is?” Solis replied, I haven’t done a lot of research in terms of the economic growth in Texas.”

You are the $%^%@#$ Labor Secretary! Do you think you might want to figure out how, and why a state with 8% of our nation’s population has created nearly half the new jobs over the past ten years? Mrs. Solis, do you realize that Texas created 250,000 jobs in the past two years, and that is nearly as many as the other 49 states combined, or have you been too busy ribbon cutting at solar cell plants?

President Obama’s Greatest Hits

With such a wide range notable quotables it was difficult to decide on few goodies from the past couple of months.

If you love me, you got to help me pass this bill.”

We had reversed the recession, avoided a depression, gotten the economy moving again. But, over the last six months we’ve had a run of bad luck.” That one sounds like someone who might be a candidate for Gamblers Anonymous.

In regards to the Federal Budget, which increased by another 5% this year, “Not much further we can cut.”

I am just like one of the founders, or even better Lincoln. “When you listen to what the Federalists said about the Anti-Federalists, and the names that Jefferson called Hamilton and back and forth, I mean those guys were tough. Lincoln, they used to talk about him almost as bad as they talk about me.”

From the Gold-digger that Served in Vietnam.

Senator John Kerry feels that the media should not give any coverage to the Tea Party and their ideas. “And I have to tell you, I say this to you politely. The media in America has a bigger responsibility than it’s exercising today. The media has got to begin to not give equal time or equal balance to an absolutely absurd notion just because somebody asserts it or simply because somebody says something which everybody knows is not factual.” Senator Kerry I guess feels that he is the ultimate arbiter of what is true and false, what is acceptable and not acceptable. Doesn’t it warm your heart when elected officials talk about stifling free speech?

Senator Kerry also weighed in on the S&P downgrade of the United States credit rating, “I believe this is, without question, the tea party downgrade.” That’s right Senator Kerry, this downgrade has nothing to do with our $14 trillion plus debt, our budget deficits, the worsening fiscal condition of our entitlement programs, or the fact that we have not passed a budget in over 20 months yet we were able to spend a record $3.6 trillion in 2011.

More Info On Those Evil Tea Partiers.

Representative Andre Carson D-IN, member of the Congressional Black Caucus stated, “Some in Congress would love to see us as second-class citizens and some of them in Congress right now of this Tea Party movement would love to see you and me hanging on a tree.” Representative Maxine Waters D-CA and also a member of the CBC stated that, “The Tea Party can go straight to hell!”

How long do you think it would take for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to organize a riot outside any Congressional member of the tea party that told anyone from the CBC, to go to hell?

Unemployment Money For All

President Obama’s Press Secretary Jay Carney took to the podium to tout how important it is to pass and extend unemployment benefits. According to the administration it will create one million jobs.

Laura Meckler WSJ: “I understand why extending unemployment insurance provides relief to people who need it, but how does that create jobs?”

Jay Carney: “Oh, uh, it is by, uh, I would expect a reporter from the Wall Street Journal would know this as part of the entrance exam. There are few other ways that can directly put money into the economy than applying unemployment insurance. It is one of the most direct ways to infuse money directly into the economy because people who are unemployed and obviously aren’t running a paycheck are going to spend the money that they get. They’re not going to save it, they are going to spend it. And with unemployment insurance, that way, the money goes directly back into the economy, dollar for dollar virtually. Every place that, the money is spent has added business and that creates growth and income for businesses that leads them to decisions about jobs, more hiring.”

Why didn’t I think of that? Get Stockholm on the phone, I think Obama can win another Nobel prize! The way to solve unemployment is to hand out money. Take money from one person and give it to another, brilliant! Heck, why not create a Microsoft Word template so we can all print our own money right from the comfort of home.

In fact this idea is so great, why stop at unemployment money?

Obama’s Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack: “We are going to announce something that’s never happened in this country. Something that we think is exciting in terms of job growth. I should point out, when you talk about the SNAP program or the food stamp program, you have to recognize that it’s also an economic stimulus. It’s the most direct stimulus you can get in the economy during these tough times.”

Welfare. The solution to all of our problems!

Morrissey Ed How About I Show You My Economic Plan Next Month Hot Air 8/15/2011

Editors Obama: Not Much Further We Can Cut Daily Caller 8/9/2011

York Byron Obama: I Reversed Recession Until Bad Luck Hit Washington Examiner 8/15/2011

Editors Obama: If You Love Me Pass My Jobs Bill Breitbart 9/14/2011

Sample Ian Aliens May Destroy Humanity To Protect Other Civilizations, Says Scientists Guardian 8/18/2011

Reiland Ralph A Labor Chief As Clueless As The President Investors Business Daily 9/13/2011

Sheppard Noel Paul Krugman Calls For Space Aliens To Attack Earth Requiring Massive Defense Buildup To Stimulate Economy Newsbusters 8/14/2011

Wolfgang Ben Democrats Seek To Pin Credit Downgrade On Tea Party Washington Times 8/7/2011

Poor Jeff The Tea Party Can Go Straight To Hell Daily Caller 8/21/2011

Sherman Jake Tea Party Wants Blacks Hanging On A Tree Politico 8/31/2011

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