THE WATCHDOG’S ABSURDITY COLLECTION
APRIL 2011
I often find myself frustrated at the conclusion of my radio show due to the fact that I am unable to get to so many great stories. I have decided to save a small portion of them and provide them to you via the newsletter in a new ongoing feature called, The Watchdog’s Absurdity Collection.
Misunderestimated
For a former U.S. President who received a great deal of flack for mangling words, he certainly can sell some books. George W. Bush’s memoir, Decision Points, sold over two million copies since its release in November 2010 and it has not gone to paperback as of yet.. By contrast, Bill Clinton’s memoir, My Life has logged sales of 2.2 million since 2004.
Sales Numbers from the Brand New Government Subsidized Coal Fired Auto Industry
2011 is here and the sales are rolling in for Chevy Volt and Nissan Leaf! For December, the Volt sold between 250-350 cars and the Leaf sold a whopping 10!
Top Real Estate Markets
In a classic example of “Follow the Money,” the Washington D.C. area has seven of the nation’s ten richest counties. Who would have thought civil servant work paid so well! The great divide...Those who work for the government or get benefits from it, and those who do not.
Who Said Art and Science Don’t Mix?
The National Science Foundation has decided to take $700,000 of your money and give it to the Civilians Theater Company of New York to finance the production of a play about climate change. If we follow the usual government process, the play will be over-budget, it will need more funding to stay afloat, it will be slow, outdated, and the majority of the country would never want to see it.
Maybe the President Has Been Watching Those Get Rich Real Estate Commercials?
Imagine for a second that you are $14 trillion in debt and getting deeper, whereas during the month of March you spent eight times more than you took in. Would you...A. Start drinking heavily B. Look for ways to get your fiscal house in order. or C. Buy real estate that will generate negative cash flow?
If you answered C...Congratulations, you are presidential material! President Obama wants to double spending to $900 million to purchase more property for the federal government. Currently, the government owns 635 million acres, which are three out of every ten acres.
Yo Quiero Universidad BaratoThe Maryland House of Delegates passed a bill to allow in-state tuition rates for illegal immigrants in the state’s community colleges. Upon completion of their two-year degree, they would be eligible for in-state tuition at the state’s four-year higher education institutions.
If one of my kids had the desire to become a Terrapin and attend the University of Maryland they would have to pay a current out-of-state tuition rate of $24,831. An illegal immigrant living in Maryland would pay $8,416.
Ay Dios Mio!
Government Comic Books
In the Richard Pryor movie Brewster’s Millions, Pryor’s character had to spend $30 million in 30 days without having any assets to show for the spending in order to inherit $300 million. All Pryor’s character needed to do was look to the government for new and innovative means of wasting money. For example...
The Government Printing Office is producing a comic called Squeaks Discovers Type! It is the story of a video game space mouse that helps elementary school student Jake discover the invention of printing and its evolution through the ages so Jake can write a report. It costs the GPO $5.90 to produce the comic book. They sell it for $5.00. Note to Uncle Sam: You are doing it wrong.
It’s the End of the World as We Know It...or Maybe Not
Five years ago the United Nations predicted that by the end of 2010 some fifty million people would be fleeing climate change. They stated that rising seas and super-sized hurricanes would be ravaging island nations forcing their people to flee to higher ground. Investor’s Business Daily notes that if you make a prediction and provide a date, never give a number, and if you give a number, never provide a date. That way you can always claim to be accurate in your assessment, when you are wrong because, “It just has not happened yet.”
The United Nations Environment Program (UNEP) produced a report in 2005 showing a map of the areas that would be destroyed just like the Great Prophet Al Gore had foretold. If one takes a closer look at the areas that should by now be underwater or wastelands void of humanity one can discern that the inverse has occurred. The areas marked for climatic death have seen a sharp increase in population. The population of the Solomon Islands has passed a half a million, up 100,009 in the past ten years. The Seychelles has seen its population rise, the Bahamas population has gone way up, and China’s six fastest growing cities are on the UNEP Death map along with several United States coastal cities.
Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country, But What Your Country Should Provide To You
Stephen Moore wrote in the Wall Street Journal, “If you want to understand better why so many states from New York to Wisconsin to California are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, consider this depressing statistic: Today in America there are nearly twice
as many people working for the government (22.5 million) than in all of manufacturing (11.5 million). This is almost an exact reversal of the situation in 1960 when there were 15 million workers in manufacturing and 8.7 million collecting a paycheck from the government.” (I find it ironic and a complete reversal of fortune that in January of 1961 was when John F. Kennedy uttered the inverse to the title of this subsection.)
More of our citizens currently work for the government than work in construction, farming, fishing, forestry, manufacturing, mining and utilities combined. Stephen Moore’s conclusion is that we have become, “A nation of makers to a nation of takers.”
San Franstinko
San Francisco’s big green push for low-flow toilets has backfired. The San Francisco Gate reported that toilets skimping on toilet water has resulted in more sludge backing up inside the sewer pipes which has created a rotten-egg stench near AT&T Park and elsewhere. The city has already spent $100 million over the past five years to upgrade its sewer system and sewage plants to combat the odor problem. Now the city is stockpiling $14 million dollars in highly concentrated bleach to act as an odor eater and to disinfect the city’s treated water before it’s dumped into the bay. What smells worse...raw sewage or the patchouli oil cologne that the people who pass these ridiculous regulations wear?
Finally...The Key To Solving Unemployment!
A Florida unemployment agency spent $14,000 to give 6,000 superhero capes to the jobless. This agency called the program its “Cape-A-Bility Challenge,” which featured a cartoon character, “Dr. Evil Unemployment.” I am not kidding! This actually occurred. Tax dollars were spent to give the unemployed capes.
I don’t know what is worse, the waste of tax dollars, or the degradation of the unemployed who were handed a cape. Workforce Central Florida Director Gary J. Earl defends the program, saying it is part of a greater effort to connect with the community. Great job Garry! Not only are capes the answer to chronic unemployment, but they are a community outreach tool as well...who knew.
Source Material:
- Mail Reporter We Misunderestimated Him UK Mail 12/23/10
- Hemingway Mark NSF Gives $700K Grant to Theater Company Commentary 10/05/10
- Tully Meg MD. House Passes Bill Allowing Illegal Immigrants In-State Tuition Frederick News Post 4/8/11
- Opelka Mike Federally Funded Comic Books? You Betcha. Meet Squeaks! The Blaze 4/7/11
- Morrissey Ed Obama Wants to Double Conservation Spending, Buy More Federal Land Hot Air 4/4/11
- Moore Stephen We’ve Become a Nation of Takers, Not Makers Wall Street Journal 4/1/11
- Editorial Staff The Climate Refugee Hoax Investor’s Business Daily 4/13/11
- Blanco Sebastian GM Sells Just 281 Chevy Volts In February, Nissan Only Moves 67 Leafs Auto Blog 3/1/11
- Matier Phillip & Ross Andrew Low-Flow Toilets Cause a stink in SF. San Francisco Gate 2/28/11
- Job Center Blasted For Giving Capes to Unemployed Associated Press 4/19/11
